Permanency Tip of the Week: Responding to: “You Are Not My Real Family”
Whether we are serving families who provide Permanency to our Youth or we are a family providing that Permanency, some form of this statement will likely be delivered by our Youth at some point along the journey. Particularly for our Permanency families, this statement can be incredibly painful to hear after all that they have invested and experienced along the Permanency journey. This statement is likely delivered by our Youth from a place of combined pain, fear, and self-protection rather than out of intent to inflict pain. We need to prepare our families / ourselves before this statement is made so that we can more effectively respond to it. A response of affirmation, validation, and support is crucial for our Youth to be able to process their thoughts and feelings. This allows 1) The youth to be truly heard and supported; 2) The family to see and continue to love/serve the Youth through a more authentic and trauma-informed lens.
Permanency Success Story of the Week: ‘It Means We Can be a Family.’ Couple Adopts Five Siblings as Part of D.C. Court’s Adoption Day
Washington Post – On Tuesday evening, the outside of the Mack house in suburban Maryland appeared quiet, like many of the other homes on the tree-lined street not far from the Redskins’ stadium, in Capitol Heights. But inside, it was bustling as Karen and Tyrone Mack helped five children get out of their school clothes, washed up and ready for dinner so they could be in bed by 8:30 p.m. The next day, the couple would awake at 4 a.m. so the whole crew could be out the door by 6:30…
The couple has been raising the siblings for a few years. On Saturday, they will formally adopt them as part of D.C. Superior Court’s annual Adoption Day. Five children being adopted to one family is a record for the court, tied with an adoption in 2015. In all, 27 children are set to have their adoptions made official during Saturday’s ceremony…
The couple is excited about their expanded family, but they also admit it’s intimidating. Between them, they raised six children during prior marriages and were heading for a quieter time in their lives. But without Tyrone and Karen, the children would be split up in foster care…
Permanency Related Articles:
Medium.com – Dr. John DeGarmo / The Foster Care Institute – It seems that as I grow older, I become more and more appreciative and more grateful for all the blessings in my life. I imagine that is simply a progression of age, and simply shows that I am getting older. Yet, it is during this month of Thanksgiving in our home where I feel particularly grateful for my life as a foster parent the past 15 years.
It has long been a tradition in our home on Thanksgiving Day, as we sit down at the table, for each of us to state what we have been thankful for each year. From the youngest to the oldest, it is always interesting to hear what others might say. Sometimes, it can be sad, while other times, it can be amusing. Most often, it is inspiring. As you can imagine, our house is quite full with children, and with visitors, from across the globe, when my Australian born wife’s side of the family comes for a visit.
With that in mind, I wanted to share with you why I am grateful, in no particular order mind you, for being a foster parent. 1) I am thankful for the love in my home. 2) The laughter is often contagious. 3) A community rallies together. 4) Helping birth parents heal. 5) There is never a dull day. 6) A lesson in service. 7) Forever Family. 8) Learning never stops. 9) My own heart is full. 10) The rewards are unending.
Medium.com – “With great power, comes great responsibility.” It’s a line so famous that if you begin to say it, someone else will also inevitably finish it for you. It is a famous line from Spider-Man but also finds itself attributed to Voltaire, Franklin D Roosevelt, and Winston Churchill. The very fact that Stan Lee finds himself in the company of these men, tells you of the impact he has made on the world…Care Experienced people, (those who grew up in state foster care, with other family members, were adopted or had some other state intervention in their life) often don’t see their lives represented fairly in entertainment. There are many examples that show people who have been in care in a negative light. That show people who have been in care and damaged, dangerous and lost souls…
Stan Lee will be remembered for many things by many people. For Care Experienced people, I hope he will be remembered most for giving us a belief. A belief in ourselves and a belief that maybe the world could see us for the heroes we could be if only we are given the chance. So, rest in peace Stan Lee and thank you for Spider-Man (Kinship Care); Black Widow (Foster Care); Wanda & Pietro Maximoff (Foster Care); Gamora (Adopted); …
AdoptUSKids – Instant Family, a film that portrays one family’s experience with adoption from foster care, premiered in theaters last week. We anticipate that many moviegoers, having gotten a humorous and touching glimpse into the world of foster care adoption, may contact your agency eager to learn more.
We’ve compiled this list of resources to help you take advantage of this opportunity to recruit more families: 1) Prepare your system; 2) Borrow our website content!; 3) Engage on social media
Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) Network – Question: Are adult psychiatric and functional outcomes associated with cumulative childhood trauma exposure? Findings: In this cohort study, cumulative childhood trauma was associated with higher rates of adult psychiatric disorders and poorer functional outcomes even after adjusting for a broad range of other childhood risk factors for these outcomes, including psychiatric functioning and family adversities and hardships. Meaning: Cumulative childhood trauma exposure is associated with negative outcomes in health and functioning in adulthood. Importance: Being exposed to trauma is a common childhood experience associated with symptoms and impairments in childhood. Conclusions and Relevance: Cumulative childhood trauma exposure was associated with poor adult outcomes even after accounting for many of the childhood and family factors associated with both trauma exposure and poor adult outcomes. Childhood trauma exposures are common but often preventable, thus providing a clear target for child-focused public health efforts to ameliorate long-term morbidity.
Confessions of an Adoptive Parent – Over the years we’ve learned what it means to take care of ourselves as parents. But nothing we do, in terms of self-care, happens apart from being hands-on as parents. We’ve learned that simple things, in the middle of parenting demands, make a big difference…
It’s the dead of winter out on the farm we just moved to north on Indianapolis, Indiana where we live…Yes, last winter was cold. But then one afternoon a good friend reminded me of something that I had failed to see through that season: “You have so much to be thankful for Mike. You’re just looking at the wrong things.
So true. As I reflect back on that season of my life last year, I realize something- I was focused on everything I thought I didn’t have but needed. I was staring at everything going wrong, so much so, that I forgot about everything going right! When I simply stopped and began to give thanks for what I had, and what was right, my spirit lifted and my perspective changed. Not only that, but I began to better take care of me because I realized I had so much to live for, and so much to be thankful for!
Your level of gratitude has nothing to do with how much stuff you have, the bottom line in your bank account, or even whether or not you get to do all the things you want to do! Gratitude is not dependent on what you have. Gratitude is dependent on what you believe about the life you have. Gratitude is not dependent on what you have. Gratitude is dependent on what you believe about the life you have.
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Take care and keep up the Permanency work – Our children, youth, young adults, families, and communities are depending on it!